My Saturday Girls

Allow me to introduce you to my Saturday girl:

She is very sweet, I love her smile, and she's just beginning to start walking on her own. She's very proud of this accomplishment, and sometimes she falls down while walking just because that huge smile throws her off balance. It's been a privilege to spend the past three weeks with her, but I've only had her for about three weeks, and I've been in Haiti nearly ten.

Emmanuella, my Saturday girl from the first six weeks of my stay in Haiti, went home with her biological mother. I miss her very deeply. I sang this song many times to her, and it has become my plea, my prayer, and my hope for her.

Children of the heavenly Father


Safely in His bosom gather;


Nestling bird nor star in Heaven


Such a refuge e’er was given.

Neither life nor death shall ever


From the Lord His children sever;


Unto them His grace He showeth,


And their sorrows all He knoweth.

Though He giveth or He taketh,


God His children ne’er forsaketh;


His the loving purpose solely


To preserve them pure and holy.

Lo, their very hairs He numbers,


And no daily care encumbers


Them that share His ev’ry blessing


And His help in woes distressing.

Praise the Lord in joyful numbers:


Your Protector never slumbers.


At the will of your Defender


Ev’ry foeman must surrender.

Dearest Emmanuella,

I no longer have the privilege of being in your presence each day. I can no longer be the one to wipe away your tears, to receive your kisses, to change your diapers, to give you lollipops, to make you laugh, to reprimand you for whining, to hold you as you sleep. This reality has not been easy for me to accept, and I have cried countless tears. I'm sorry for the times I was impatient with you. I'm sorry that all the wonderful things I told you so excitedly about your new life might not be things that you will ever experience. I'm sorry that I didn't get to say goodbye.

But Emmanuella, I want you to know how much I have treasured the six weeks I had with you. I am so proud of who you are and so grateful to God for putting you in my life. You are brilliant. You are gorgeous. You are loved. And all shall be well, little girl, all shall be well.

I have made many supplications to this God who loves you, pleading with Him for you to come back, for there to be a change in your biological mom's heart, or even for you to cry constantly and violently as I know you are fully capable of doing until she caves in and brings you back here. But even if the outcome of the story isn't what I want it to be, even if I never see you again in this world, even if everything about your life is completely opposite of what I had dreamed for you, I shall continue to plead with God on your behalf, and He will hold you in the palm of his hand. His life is true. His saving grace is true. His promises will be kept.

Emmanuella I do not say these words lightly; trusting God with your life is very hard because I love you so very much. It feels like believing that a mustard seed of faith really can move mountains.

I will be praying something fierce that you can come back here. But I'll be praying something fiercer that God's will be done no matter what it is. Because there is no better place to be than in the will of our Heavenly Father. And you are His child.

Thank you for giving me joy.

I love you, Emmanuella.

Kathryn