I miss school. Quite an astronomical amount. I miss writing essays. I miss studying. I miss learning new things. So today in order to make myself feel a bit better about not being in school, I sat down to recap the important things I'm learning here at the University of GLA that I wouldn't be learning at Hillsdale College.
I've mastered the art of changing a diaper full and overflowing with poop in just one wipe.
I can get a kid out of one outfit and into another in two seconds flat.
It's become habit to move to the side of the street at the sound of a honking horn.
I'm becoming quite an expert on the different physical, cognitive, language, and interactive stages of development in babies and young children.
I've been fine tuning my skills at moping floors, figuring out the perfect amounts of soap and water to put into the big yellow bucket and the appropriate wetness to distribute over the floor.
I am learning that poop isn't actually that gross. I don't even have to hold my breath anymore to stave off the stench. Honestly, poop's really not bad. Even when it's on your clothes. Even when it's on your face. And in your hair. And on the floor. It's just poop. And as for spit up, that stuff is 100% harmless and it's even starting to smell good to me.
I have discovered that hand sanitizer actually has many more purposes than simply sanitizing hands. Many.
Gummy vitamins. They're good stuff. Eat them and you will be healthy.
Ants in swarms used to psychologically harm me and would often lead to spasms of fear and anger. Now I don't even notice them.
Wipes are a great commodity that can be used for optimal healthy hygiene, even in the absence of showers.
Swiping little noses on resisting children is now muscle memory.
When moths viciously attack you in the night, stay calm. Just capture them in an empty gummy vitamin container, give them good mothy names, tell them goodnight, and they will be dead in the morning.
These and many, many others are certainly lessons I wouldn't have learned anywhere else and that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Yep you did it. Made me laugh. Again.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling your Hillsdale essays will be a little different. But who knows when analogies of poop, gummy vitamins, and ant swarms may come in handy.
Those are some very good lessons. I expect you could find quite a few more lessons you have learned....Like how to sit in a tap tap without falling over, how to communicate in a mix of different languages including hand gestures, the name of exotic tropical fruits, how many different ways you can describe being terribly ill, and the strength of character to soldier on through the ordeal. Not to mention the geography lessons learned on your waterfall adventure and the dance moves you picked up from that boy in blue!
ReplyDeleteJosiah: That's cool. Especially that you're not afraid of ants.
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